Pick Your Poison Read online

  “This isn’t funny! Stop laughing! Gah! Blech. Ew. I’m tainted. This is wrong, damn it. Wrong. Oh, god...” Cringing, one hand still holding my sheet-toga in place, I shook myself out like a wet dog. Following that I did a sort of strange, ritualistic pee-pee dance in place, making disgusted—though rather juvenile, I’ll admit—icky-yuck noises worthy of any kindergartener trying to stave off a mad wave of atomic cooties. “And he’d tasted like chocolate.” More shuddering as I, at this point, rambled to myself like a loony. “Stupid...” Shaking my head, I had to admit, “Though oddly delicious... bitter bastard.”

  “Delicious?” Divit and Stefan’s voices penetrated my mutterings as they both spoke at once, the same incredulous, surprised tone tinging their voices. My gaze whipped to meet theirs but I was already instantly distracted.

  Rolling my eyes, I tossed a hand up to wave them off. “Sure, yeah, like chocolate, or a tart cherry that has just enough sweetness, but whatever, it’s not the same.”

  Shrugging, I tugged the hem of my sheet up to keep from tripping on it, sick of repeatedly almost falling flat on my face.

  “I mean, he smelled nice and all, at first, but so did Callie.” Glancing at the witch, I smiled apologetically.

  She took a step back but returned the gesture.

  “At first?” the necromancer piped up curiously, smoothing his fingers over the small souvenirs I’d left behind as he adjusted his collar.

  “Uh-huh.” Wondering if I should continue, my gaze darted to Divit’s, who was watching me intently, studying my lips as I bit at them nervously.

  “And then what?” my vampire lover prompted, brown eyes narrowing as his jaw started ticking hard.

  “Uh, and then that’s it. He tasted like bitter chocolate, and then the taste shifted a bit, kind of salty and much sweeter, but I didn’t think about it much because I was... I was...”

  Divit dipped his chin, staring down the length of his long nose at me. “You were...?”

  “Because... because... because I was hungry! Okay! And I didn’t want to hurt the mean little pile of pale twigs! You go to Hell for killing life-sized evil pixies, I heard. It’s like a clause in one of Pan’s lost boys’ codes or something.”

  Stefan harrumphed at the unfavorable comparison, but didn’t care to interrupt. Yet.

  Pausing, I eyed the blonde wraith in black, tapping my finger on my crossed arms. “Even skinny, stupid one’s with dust sparking everywhere outta their eyes instead of their buttholes—who may or may not want to chop your head off for the greater good.” Raising a brow, I dared him to argue.

  Yes, blood donation or not, I was still a little peeved at that one.

  Note sarcasm—yes, just a little, and the more I thought on it the more I wondered how he’d like it if someone tried to cut his head off. He was contemplating killing me in the first place, after all, wasn’t he? Like some kind of vampire slaying mafia hit!

  “Who does that?” Babbling, I threw a hand up, scoffing.

  A sudden burst of energy hit me during my little rant and I felt like I’d had two shots of espresso, practically bouncing off the walls as my body sang. Stefan’s blood was bitter, I thought, like chocolate, sure, chocolate and coffee.

  “Tries to behead people? Hah! I’ll behead him. Is there like a hotline for people with beheading thoughts? I mean, what the frick! I’d never have done that to him, and I don’t even like him! Where’s a machete when you need one? A rapier? Pfft. Hah!” Pacing the small space allotted by the far wall, biting what little bit existed of my nails, chipping off little chunks of nail polish as I went, it took me a moment to realize the room had gone quiet. Glancing up, I blinked and frowned. “What?”

  Everyone was staring at me, Stefan’s face pinched in a tight grimace—his constipation face—Callie’s angry as her gaze sharpened on the necromancer. Divit’s expression, which had at one point been a cross between anger, worry, and something else, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, was frozen in place.

  Slowly, the vampire’s face morphed, darkening as he moved, and a low, inhuman sound built in his throat. Pivoting in place, knees bending as he dipped into a half-crouch, his hands raised, held out like claws, as if he was about to attack.

  Uh-oh.

  “You what?” The words hissed through the vampire man’s tight lips as he canted his head, red flushing the rims of his eyes as his lips pulled back, fangs dropping down low.

  Wow. Okay, so, from where I’m standing, Divit’s fully dropped fangs in full view and out on proud display, those suckers are pretty freaking scary, and I may have just peed a little.

  Wait... can I pee?

  My tongue ran along my own sizeable set of fangs, pricking the sharp points. Peeking out over my human canines, the tips dangling over the rest in true vampire fashion, mine weren’t dropped fully for feeding, but I had to wonder, Do I look like that? All fat, porcelain ice picks dangling about in my mouth, ready to strike, because, yikes!

  “Oh... boy.” Squeaking through her fingers, Callie stepped back, her hurried steps echoing across the wood floor as she tried to cast something but couldn’t stop stuttering, she was so nervous. Giving up, she started cursing, taking off at a run, bellowing for Byron.

  Eyes dilating until the pupils smothered his irises, Divit let out a gut churning growl. Gaze narrowing to tiny little slits, zeroing in on his prey, a hiss slipped past his lips.

  Stefan tensed but stood there, arms lying flatly at his sides. “I’d thought she might be a danger to us all.” Swallowing thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbed, a nervous sheen dotting his pale skin, but he made no move to defend himself. “I had to see for myself. So...” Clearing his throat, dark eyes churning lightly with shards of electric blue, he admitted quietly, maybe a tad contritely, “I’m not proud of it, but I’m not much of a liar, either. I wanted to know, for sure, so I tested her.”

  Divit waited, as if he knew, just somehow knew, there had to be more. “And then?” he asked carefully, voice low and controlled, but barely.

  Nodding, Stefan smiled tightly. It was the small, self-deprecating smile of a man about to look death in the eye. “And if I deemed her unfit, I was going to...” Making a swooping motion that had me wincing, he sliced his hand through the air. “Fix it.”

  “Fix it.” Divit moved closer, nostrils flaring as his eyes widened, a wild, crazed look on his face. “Like you were going to fix me, old friend?”

  About to face the guillotine like a good little warlock with obvious suicidal tendencies, Stefan just stood there stiffly, resignedly, making no effort whatsoever to defend himself, waiting for the blow.

  “Well?!” Divit demanded. “Answer me!”

  “I would have beheaded her, yes, but I would have tried to make it as quick and painless as possible,” Stefan said calmly.

  “Gee, thanks, asshole. Way to thank the dead chick who just accidently jogged your jollies,” I muttered petulantly.

  Divit’s head whipped in my direction and he let out a horrible sound that had me jumping in my skin.

  Yelping, I mimed zipping my lips at his malevolent look. “Shutting up.”

  Gaze snapping back to Stefan, he growled low. “Argh...”

  I took that to mean he was completely unhappy with the blonde moron’s ill-thought-out plan and wished to let him know. Another garbled noise left his lips, angrier than the last. The veins in his neck popped and he threw his head back and bellowed, his olive skin a stark contrast to Stefan’s chalky complexion as he shot towards him.

  Divit finally found his words and they poured out of him like lava, hot an angry, burning as he forced them past gritted teeth. “Enough! I’ve had enough! You stood there and called me a killer? You? You, who would have easily chosen to take her life? And for what? You weren’t even going to give her a chance!”

  “I changed my mind,” Stefan reiterated. “I tried to make amends. I’ve settled the matter with a blood debt.”

  “Oh?” Divit spat at the warlock’s feet, gesturing to
wards his dick. “And who benefited from that, I see?” This just made the vampire even more livid. “What right have you? None. What right have you!!” He was shouting so loud I was tempted to cover my ears. “To try to take what’s mine?!!”

  Stefan, having earned himself a little gold star for keeping his assholery in check this long, could have earned himself an effing medal, but then, after the dick reminder and his bright red face, felt the need to partake in the discussion. “She came willingly enough, and I didn’t hear any complaints. Did you? Other than surprise at what had transpired, and the feeling was not one sided, I assure you.”

  Ah, that typical dry wit we all know and hate. I’m going to brain him. If he lives.

  When Divit paused as if to listen and, sadly, maybe actually consider the wankers fly away mouth, Stefan waved a hand airily. “I don’t see her castigating me on the matter, and I don’t see your name on her. Last I checked, she’s a free woman. If she chose to feed from me, it’s her right. If she’s yours, Divit, maybe you should make sure she’s on board with your plan first.”

  Divit grunted, hunching in on himself, shoulders bunching as a guttural noise bubbled in his chest.

  “In here!” Callie was yelling down the hall, the sound of her footsteps and her racing heart thumping in my ears growing louder at her approach. Byron’s heart’s heavy thump-thump and stomping steps followed, much louder.

  As if he’d anticipated it, Stefan threw himself to the side, mumbling something and flicking his hand to send the bedroom door crashing shut just as Divit lunged.

  My vampire lover hit the wall, leaving a man-sized dent behind. Shaking it off, he hissed, readying to launch again.

  “Now, just calm down!” Stefan shouted, skidding along the carpet as he rounded the bed, safe but only temporarily. Careening past me, he slid around to leap to the other side. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Calm down? Calm down! Ahh! Hurt me? You were going to kill her! You,” he pointed a finger, “my friend, you’re dead!” Divit’s voice was just a few decibels below a roar.

  A funny smell permeated the air just then and I wrinkled my nose, rubbing at my nostrils as I tried to rid my senses of the stench. “Ugh, gross. Who cracked one off?”

  “Cracked what off?” Stefan muttered, dodging the nightstand as he rolled across the bed to his feet and it flew by his head.

  It missed him, but barely, and I danced around the two of them, ducking an angry vampire and his soon-to-be victim’s quick but short blocking spells.

  “It’s fear. Pure, unadulterated fear.” A vicious smile tugged Divit’s lips. “Afraid, little necromancer?”

  “Fear you?” Stefan shrugged, sweat pouring down his temples. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “Mm, you should.” And then they were off again.

  If I didn’t know better, I’d think these two enjoyed the battle. Ugh. Guys are weird. ‘Other’ guys, apparently, are even worse.

  Furniture flew and magick zapped around me. I was in the middle of a war zone—a really cramped, tiny one.

  “Hey, watch it, easy-bake-zombie-maker, that one almost got me!” Rubbing at the spot on my arm as blue sparks zipped past, I hissed at the small, sizzling black mark his magick left behind.

  The fighting stopped at my second hiss and Divit was there in a second, gripping my arm and jerking me towards him to examine it himself.

  “Ow!” Smacking his man-handling ass soundly with my free hand, I glared up at him, tugging my arm back. “Why do you always have to be so rough? Hello, it hurts.”

  Divit’s mouth tightened but he stepped back. “It looks fine. It’s just a scratch.”

  “I know, but thanks.” Clearing my throat awkwardly, I blurted, “And just so you know, I didn’t... it wasn’t... you know, with Stefan-”

  “I know.”

  That drew me up short and I found myself staring up at him, blinking stupidly with a dumbfounded look on my face. “You do?”

  “It was your first feeding. You didn’t know what you were doing.” The words pained him to say, a similar pain to match twisting my gut as his lips twisted distastefully.

  “It wasn’t like that,” I mumbled defensively, wincing as my gaze dropped and I sucked in a huge gulp of air to blow it back out.

  A funny smell wafted off of me, layering on top of what I recognized as my own scent. I didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to have to think about any of this shit right now—scents, fangs, blood, feedings—if at all.

  “It wasn’t your fault.”

  Surprised, my head lifted, gaze snapping to meet his. “It- What?”

  His expression softened fractionally, though everything else on him remained wound tight. “It’s not unheard of to enthrall a feeder, and you’re new—less unheard of for a newly turned. You don’t have control over it yet, but you will. You’re stronger than you think.”

  “Enthrall?” Aghast, my gaze slipped to Stefan, who was watching us as he rubbed at his neck absently, as my eyes bugged. “But I didn’t... I wouldn’t... I didn’t do that to him on purpose! I can’t enthrall! I wouldn’t... I was thinking about you!”

  At Divit’s sharp hiss my gaze whipped back to him.

  “Me?” he asked softly, cocking his head slightly.

  “Well, yeah.” Grunting as he continued to watch me in that creepy, I know all, see all, way of his, his expression unreadable, I started to fidget in place.

  This just served to irritate me. So, naturally, my mouth started moving.

  “What the hell else would I be thinking about? You were the first thing that came to mind the second my eyes popped open, you stupid jerk.”

  “Good.” The vampire man was a little too pleased by that little bit I’d just dropped, a deep, possessive gleam in his eyes taking hold, though his expression didn’t change.

  It was like I could feel the change in him, though I couldn’t actually see it, but the damage was already done—the words had already left my mouth. Damn. Probably shouldn’t have said that.

  It was then that I made out the mad thumping on the door, a strange disarray of colors cascading around it as an odd vibration rocked the frame.

  “They’re coming,” Stefan said ominously, glancing to Divit. “Best finish this now.” Eyes flashing blue, he held his hands up and smiled wickedly. “It won’t hold much longer.”

  Divit’s lips pulled back in a feral grin and he gestured the man forward, crooking a finger. “A blood debt is owed me, and I think you well know it.” That smile, while sexy as all get out in a villainous, sinister sort of way, freaked me out more than Stefan’s bad-things-are-coming smirk ever could.

  “Fine.” Stefan shrugged, unperturbed. “Let’s get this over with.”

  Divit flashed fang. “I’ll feel better when you’re not breathing.” Yeah, I doubted he was kidding.

  “Wait! What? Get what over with?! What are you going to do, exactly?” Aside from the obvious, but I wanted specifics, thank you very much. Others have weird assed ways.

  “A duel?” Stefan suggested, rolling his shoulders.

  “A duel? No duel! What is this? An old romance novel? What century are we in? You all lost your minds?! Unless you’re racing piss streams in the dirt out back, fellas, there will be no duel! And even then, you don’t cross beams.”

  Divit glanced around, both men ignoring me. “This room is kind of small...” His gaze strayed to meet mine briefly, as I shook my head at him wildly, before sliding away. “And someone could get hurt.”

  “Are either of you listening?” Stomping my foot, I was ten seconds away from throwing crap at a wall—a lamp, a book, a nightstand drawer, I’m not picky—to get their dimwitted attention.

  Stefan ran his tongue along his teeth and quipped, tongue in cheek, “Isn’t that the point?”

  “Oh, for the love of!” Throwing my hands up, I stomped towards the door. “Fine, kill each other, go ahead! One of you will die and I’ll feel like it’s all my fault! I’ll wither away and die, giving the s
urvivor sad, pitiful looks, because I’ll refuse to feed from anyone, and my last moments will be a bloodlust fueled rampage where I murder a nest of tiny yet adorable baby squirrels, and Byron or Callie, or, hell, Mary, lops my head off with an ax to put me out of my baby-squirrel-murdering, vampire-warlock-duel-gone-wrong induced sanity. So, yeah, go right ahead!”

  “Do you think she comes up with this all on her own?” Stefan mused.

  “Yes,” Divit replied flatly, in a bored tone. His look implied he would not be distracted.

  “Is she always like this, do you suppose?” Tapping his lip thoughtfully from his corner of the room, Stefan raised an inquiring brow.

  Divit glanced at him, slowly taking his eyes off of me. His lips thinned as his gaze narrowed. “Does it matter? She’s mine and you won’t be around much longer to figure it out.”

  Spinning around, I huffed. “I don’t belong to anyone, corpse groom, unless I say so. You make me sound like a pet. Funny that I’m a kinda dead chick and you’ve suddenly decided I’m off the market. Glad I’m up to your refined standards now and you find me good enough to nab up. Real thoughtful of ya, babe. Hate to think of you as settling.”

  Divit’s eyes bored into mine as I spoke, bubbling melted chocolate and crimson, mixing together like muddy, bloodied water—a rather nasty image if I do say so myself—as he ground his teeth. “Is that what you think, sweetheart? That I turned you so I wasn’t settling?”

  Frowning, I hooked a hand on my hip. “No, and you’re reaching far out in left field on that one, and I think you know it. Tell that green-eyed monster in your chest to take a hike. There’s no room for him in this room. It’s stuffy enough in this box as it is. I’m just saying, if I’d stayed human you would have gotten what you’d wanted and left, and hardly considered more. I was nothing more than an inconvenience to you then and now I’m a little bit more of a convenient one, though still a right pain in your stuffed up, undead ass.”

  Divit didn’t say anything.

  Really, what could he? I wasn’t mad about it either, precisely—I try to be a realist in an unrealistic world—but I wasn’t particularly jumping for joy, either.