Out of This Orbit (Cosmic Soul Mates) Read online

  Out Of This Orbit

  By

  Jeanette Lynn

  Smashwords Edition

  ***

  Published By:

  Jeanette Lynn

  on Smashwords

  Out Of This Orbit

  Copyright 2013 by Jeanette Lynn

  Smashwords Edition,

  License Notes

  Thank you for purchasing and downloading this ebook.

  It is the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to purchase and download their own copy.

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  Your support and respect for the property of this author is appreciated.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events, or locales, is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author's imagination and used fictitiously.

  The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademarked ownership of all trademarks and word marks mentioned in this book

  ***

  Books by Jeanette Lynn

  Cosmic Soul Mates Series

  Stellar Proportions

  Book one (Neyenn & Molilah)

  Out Of This Orbit

  Warning:

  This book contains sexually explicit material intended for readers 18 and older.

  ***

  Space Shrimp on the Barbie

  Darlah

  “Pfft, of course you remember me, how could you forget this face?” he said, looking at me incredulously, pointing to his very blue mug.

  “Someone thinks highly of himself,” I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes at his overly dramatic performance.

  “What was that, Darlah Mae, I couldn’t quite hear you?” he asked sarcastically. He cupped his hand over his ear, angling it near my face and leaned in, as if to help himself hear me better. The smart ass. That’s alright though, because I can be a smarty pants too!

  “I SAID!” I repeated, my voice extremely loud and really close to his ear. I acted like he was elderly and had misplaced his hearing aid. ...I prefer to call it 'polite yelling', it’s very similar to traditional yelling, but not quite. He jumped back surprised and yelped, clutching his hand to his ear, glaring at me accusingly.

  My Mama raised me right after all I told myself, ignoring his glare. Yelling would just be rude. Polite yelling however... Heh, heh, that'll teach him to call me ‘Darlah Mae’. He knows better, pretend memory loss, on my part, or not. I don’t hate my name or anything, I’m just not really a fan of it either. I much rather prefer Darlah or Dar. A fact the blue manwhore is whole heartedly aware of.

  “I think highly of this place,” I continued, talking calmly in a 'yell-talk' type voice, only slightly lower this time. It was close enough to what I had actually said that I just might be able to get away with it.

  He grimaced and stuck his finger in his ear, wiggling it around, like he was trying to clear the ringing from it. If he shoves his finger in there any further, he might touch his tiny little brain and then where would he be. He continued to mess with his ear, making silly wiggly motions with his jaw like it might help fix it.

  "It's like the emergency testing noise is stuck in my ear," he said distractedly, blinking his eyes and shaking his head a little, adding these new motions to the ear wiggling and jaw shifting. It probably was ringing, but hey, a small case of tinnitus never killed anyone. Not that I've ever heard of anyway. A giggle involuntarily escaped me and I coughed to cover it up.

  I gave myself a mental pat on the back for having a part in Jaye's little dilemma, adjusted my glasses and started to walk away.

  Jaye jumped in front of me and crossed his well muscled arms over his chest. He must work out or something, I thought idly as his muscles flexed with his movements. It would just be bad juju if he woke up that way every morning, no exercise required. I eat an ice cream and my ass jiggles for a week... some things are just not fair, I thought and sighed.

  His ear must have stopped ringing by now, I guessed, because he wasn’t clutching it or making any weird sex faces anymore. A smirk started to creep up my face at that thought, but I quelled it quickly, going for a blank stare instead.

  “It’s only been two months since you last saw me,” Jaye complained, continuing his earlier shtick, appearing irritated and exasperated with me.

  “You couldn’t, possibly, forget me,” he said, gesturing to himself dramatically, his other hand on his chest, said chest was puffed up with his own perceived self importance.

  He looked ridiculous, but I wasn’t about to point that little tidbit out. It was like the silly Rellian couldn’t handle the idea that I might find him beneath my notice.

  The opposite was true, in fact, I found Jaye to be very attractive, physically, but I am not touching that ‘mixed bag of nuts’ for anything in this galaxy or the next.

  He practically has ‘high maintenance drama king’ tattooed all over his forehead.

  I shrugged my shoulders at him in a helpless gesture, shaking my head at him like ‘sorry bub, what can I say’, and started to walk away again, but was blocked a second time by the big, blue, conceited, Rellian.

  He wasn't quite finished with his current tangent yet, apparently... guess he needed a moment to compose his next monologue.

  “No, not me, not in two months. I'm quite memorable, or so I’m told,” he professed and smiled at me congenially. His perfect white teeth were a startling contrast to his blue skin, making them stand out even more in all their grinning glory.

  Oh, wow, vain much? I know I could have just dropped it and moved on, but it was too much fun to mess with him, so I continued my game. I was very proud of myself for keeping a straight face.

  “Were they wearing white coats? And coming from an ambulance?” I asked sweetly, giving him my best doe eyed look.

  “Why would they be…" he trailed off confused and then huffed indignantly, "OH, very funny missy!"

  I laughed out loud at the look on his face, I couldn't help it, it was just too funny.

  "Molilah! Mama! She’s picking on me!” he yelled out and started gesturing at me wildly, like ‘See! See! She did it!’, alternating between tattling and openly glaring at me.

  I smiled at him sweetly, finger waving at him as I finally took my leave and walked away.

  My friend, Molilah Harvick, a human like 'mwah', was having a barbeque at her house today and that was her best friend Jaye. You know, the blue, overly dramatic ass I was just messing with.

  Molilah and Jaye are best friends and have known each other forever. Recently, Mol married Jaye’s older brother Neyenn, making Jaye and Mol In-laws now too.

  Molilah and Neyenn didn’t always get along with each other, though. Mol says they were childhood enemies until they got their freak dancing on at Jaye’s cousin Tawn’s wedding. She says it was the catalyst, in her opinion, that got them on their way to where they are now.

  One unplanned camping trip, on a protected forest planet, with just the two of them, ‘wink’ ‘wink‘, and a ride back home from my Daddy, he’s a pilot for the Planet of Natural Forestry, and they were an item.

  Of course, that’s the short version, but you get the picture. Fast forward to now and they are happily wed with a little family of their own.

  I glanced over my shoulder at Jaye, the ‘Blue Menace’, to make sure he wasn’t trailing me. I don’t want him following me around, just to annoy me, all night. I gave a sigh of relief when I saw that his time was ‘otherwise occupied’. Jaye can be a big assed Rellian pain in the rump sometimes and I have to k
eep one eye open for that sneaky manwhore and his, not so subtle, retribution.

  ****

  A Rellian, for those who do not know, is a humanoid type being with blue skin, pointed ears and muscles to rival a human body builder. From what I could tell, all Rellians were built well muscled and huge, Jaye included.

  Jaye did have a few reasons to be a little fat headed, if we're being honest here, with his long, beautiful, powder blue hair, eyes that could only be described as golden, and a dazzling smile, that even I had to admit, can be quite charming at times.

  His canines looked sharper and pointier than a humans, giving him a bit of a faux ‘dangerous air’ about him that some of the ladies seemed to like.

  I know exactly what he’s really like though, so I don’t buy into any of his ‘looks’ or bologna. Jaye also has the attention span of a flea, or so it seems; he could just be pretending that to annoy me and the Rellian really has a flare for the dramatic.

  Oh, and he thinks he’s god‘s gift to women. He goes through the skinny little tarts like they're underwear.

  I would feel sorry for them, the women he dates, if I hadn’t actually met a few of them. I think they all share one brain cell among them.

  So, naturally, it was fun to tease him and maybe knock him down a peg.

  I don’t do it all the time or anything, the teasing. It’s mostly used as a defense mechanism, for when he decides to hover within my vicinity. That male is high maintenance, even as a friend and I don’t want him getting any ideas.

  Last thing I need is him thinking I would be willing to cater to him, which I’m most definitely not. Who knows what he’d do if he got that kind of an idea into his thick blue skull. Eek! No, thanks.

  I’m a 'low key' kinda gal. I don’t need dramatic 'man candy' hanging around, giving me a headache, eating all my food and hogging my television.

  Yup, no thanks, I’m happy just the way things are... for the most part anyways. Some day I’ll find my knight in shining armor and let him carry me away to our happily ever after, I thought wistfully, laughing at my fanciful notions. Until then, though, I’m content with my lot in life, or as content as anyone can be I guess...

  Jaye

  "Oh, there you are! Jaye, honey, I have someone I want you to meet."

  Crap!

  I thought I'd lost her. I turned around and pasted a big smile on my face.

  "Hello, Mama. What are you up to today?"

  I added emphasis on the last part, because I know exactly what that woman is trying to do. It won't work, though, so I don't know why she even tries.

  Heck, you would think she would be a little more preoccupied, big bro and Mol giving her a grandbaby she could spoil and everything.

  She's not happy, though, unless everyone is as happy as she feels they could be. Apparently, thanks a lot Neyenn, she feels happiness is found when you have a ring on your finger and your testicles in someone's purse.

  Now, I'm not saying Neyenn's whipped or anything. Those two argue, I think it's like flirting for them, as much as they get along, but I have no desire to walk around acting like a love sick puppy because of a little 'knob slobbing' and thinking I'm in lloooovvvee.

  Women are needy, high maintenance creatures... Who wants one around all the time? Nagging me to do things... expecting me to actually do them... talking about our... shudder... feelings.

  No, thank you, not me. Not this Rellian male. I'm a free bird! Or whatever the saying is. It makes me want to put the kilt I had to buy, when I lost that bet with Neyenn, back on and run around screaming ‘FREEDOM!’

  Hey, that's not a bad idea, I mused to myself and then realized Mama had begun talking again.

  "What was that Mama? Sorry, woolgathering over here," I said, gesturing toward my head. I could tell she was getting irritated with me and trying valiantly to hide it.

  "I was just saying that Vagineya is studying to be a gynecologist, aren't you 'Vag'," she said conversationally, like she hadn’t just said ‘vagina’ and ‘gynecologist’ in the same sentence in front of me.

  I couldn’t help my reaction, though, when my inner twelve year old took over and I burst out laughing.

  "Oh, my god! Your name is 'Vagina' and you wanna be a 'coochie doctor'? Oh, my god," I blurted out as I hooted with laughter.

  If the look on her face was anything to go by, I would say 'miss vajayjay' wasn't amused.

  "I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh," I said between laughs, trying to sober myself up. "... it’s just... and then... but you... and then... she said 'Vag'," I said pointing at my mother through my laughter.

  Mama turned purple and opened her mouth and then shut it again. She did this a couple of times and by the time she got herself composed, I had finished my fit.

  "What's going on, did a Varelan goose get out of the neighbors yard again? Oh, never mind it's just you," drawled my cousin Exinn.

  "Phew," he continued in faux relief. "I heard all that honking and had to wonder for a minute, but then I just happened to see you and it all made sense. Now don't be rude 'Sphincter' who's your friend?" he said gesturing with his head toward Vagina, Vagayna, Vagamaya? ...I dunno ...the aspiring gynecologist lady.

  Vag a who dee something or other, who had been standing there stock still, turned three shades darker a pink, watching the whole entire byplay, and suddenly smiled shyly when Exinn turned the 'charm' in her direction.

  Exinn took one of her four hands and kissed the top of it, bowing over it chivalrously.

  Maybe I should mention 'Miss Vag, the future hoochie coochie doc', is a Cardanian. She must be only half though, because she had long white hair with black streaks in it. Full blooded Cardanian’s were absent of any and all body hair. She looked like a half shaved skunk, in my opinion.

  Poor girl, looked like a skunk and she wanted to spend her work day up to her eyeballs in...

  "Ow! Ma! What gives?" I shouted as my Mama whacked me hard across the back of my head.

  I looked around to make sure no one had noticed Mama whacking me. No sense in sending unnecessary tongues wagging, right?

  Exinn had, apparently, absconded with Miss Vag, at some point, and all I could think was 'Hallelujah' and 'Bub-Bye'.

  "Do you know what you just did?! That's Vagineya, Ponne's baby cousin, you dolt!" my mother seethed, narrowing her eyes at me.

  Uh, oh....I'm so dead. Ponne is my cousin Tawn's husband. He's built like Neyenn, who I'm not ashamed to admit is actually quite a bit bigger than me, has four arms and a chip on his shoulder a mile wide where I'm concerned.

  Unlike his cousin though, Ponne is a full blooded Cardanian. He's 'pink', pink like his cousin, but has no body hair whatsoever and a mohawk like ridge that runs from the top of his skull and all the way down his spine.

  I have no idea why he has it out for me personally.... Mmm, okay, that’s not entirely true, maybe I do, but It's not my fault the male is 'pink', hairless, and I feel an insatiable need to rib him about it constantly.

  Of course, it isn't his fault either, but I'm not going to debate that right now, not when I need to find a place to hide and quick.

  "How was I supposed to know that! I thought you were trying to shove another desperate female down my throat again!" I huffed indignantly.

  I mean, good grief, she could have warned me or something. You don't just spring a 'Vagineya' on someone and not expect a strong reaction from them.

  "I hope you’re happy now Mother," I said petulantly, not able to make eye contact with her, because I know I'm completely full of crap.

  Hey, someone's going down for this and if I can help it, it aint gonna be me.

  "Now Ponne's going to kill me and give Neyenn his life long dream of being an only child!" I huffed out crossly, throwing my arms up in exasperation. I quickly turned around on my heel and stalked off in the opposite direction I had seen Ponne and his brothers earlier. I could hear my mother sputtering and cursing behind me.

  I smiled a little at that, she was probably going to get me back fo
r that later, but I have bigger fish to fry right now. I picked up my pace as I hightailed it towards the house, in search of a safe place to hide. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Chicken much?’, but let me tell you, I personally don’t want to be sandwiched between three pissed off muscle bound Cardanians, each dude sporting four arms to my two.

  I could fight them of course and I know I can hold my own in a fair fight. Add to that the fact that Neyenn, in deference to Mama, wouldn’t let them beat the pulp out of me, but I have no desire to mess up this beautiful blue mug over an insult to their skunk striped, crotch career geared cousin.

  Tinkle, Tinkle little Dar...

  Darlah

  "If you could just excuse me for a moment...um... Marre? Was it?"

  The Cardanian standing next to me just grinned and inclined his head, as if to say 'as you wish'.

  So polite! And sooo big! Whoo boy!

  I mentally fanned myself as I surreptitiously admired all that Cardanian man meat. What a male could do to a gal with four arms..... I smiled at my wayward thoughts, heading towards Mol with my pertinent question.

  As I got closer, I noticed Molilah was holding her ten month old daughter, Eilahna, who was fast asleep, despite the rowdiness of the barbeque. Eilahna, 'Ellie' or 'Eilah' for short, was adorable.

  She had her Mama's 'looks' and her Daddy's blue skin, but hers was just a few shades lighter than his. Her hair, even though she doesn't have all that much yet, is brown and wavy like Mol's, but streaked with navy blue, the exact shade of Neyenn's.

  "Hey, Mol, where's your restroom dude?" I whispered, so as not to wake the baby. Molilah gave me directions and I almost wondered if I would need a map. Her house is pretty big.